My elder son turned 14 years old on March 1st. I've been a mother of a teenager for two years, now, and I survived it without any hitches! I can't believe it myself, lol.
Teen years is the time when conflict between parents and child occur. It is at this time that teen hormones play a major role in a child's life. It doesn't help that hormonal imbalance also starts to kick in in parents. LOL So, you can really expect some fireworks. But I'm happy that Gabo and I didn't experience major fights the past two years. In fact, we had more disagreements when he was a tweener when he was more reactive, more argumentative, and restless.
But this is not to say we don't have our shares of disagreements. And so I write this letter for him (this is in part what I also wrote in our birthday card for him).
Our dear Gabo,
You are now 14 years old. No longer a child but not yet a full grown up. You are in what we call a transition phase, where you think you know what to do and thus don't want to be told what to do. You are also at a time when you feel changes in your body, which often affect how you feel. During these times, you will feel inadequate (nothing is good enough, you always want more), you will feel awkward, insecure, and you will feel impatient and frustrated.
Well, I have good news for you. All these will pass. Know that whenever you feel down, we are here to cheer you up. Whenever you feel inadequate, we are here to fill you up. Whenever you feel frustrated, we are here to lift your spirits up.This is also the time when peer pressure seems to be more felt. I am sure you know what I mean because you have a lot of groups of friends. These groups of friends will have different priorities from what you have. But they can persuade you to go their way, which may or may not bring you good all the time. It's time for you to think hard, weigh in, and to learn to be firm in your decisions and not to be easily persuaded just because you feel you have to. Don't worry, we will guide you on this.You have been bugging us to allow you to do sleepovers, and a couple of times, we let you because we know the family you are going to be with. But this will not be the norm or a regular thing. We will still be discussing any request from you.Many people, our friends, relatives, and your teachers, admire you and respect you. We are often told about this. So, don't disappoint them. Always show respect. Be always in your best behavior.Gab, we will always be here for you. And we look forward to the day when you are more mature and confident about yourself. That time will come for sure. In fact, you are already showing signs of that.Meanwhile, enjoy your teen years. I know you LOVE basketball, and we are supporting you all the way on this. Explore other disciplines as well, so you can better prepare for college and for life later on.Our every day prayer since the day you were born remains the same: "Lord God, help us rear this child that you have oh so sweetly entrusted to us. Amen!"
We love you,Mama & Papa
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