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Things aren't always what they seem.

My friend and I were Viber calling yesterday, and we talked about how families seem to be okay in public but in truth they are not.

No marriage is perfect, of course. Living with another person from another background and maybe status in life is not easy. Staying married can be both challenging and exhilarating. As for me, I am blessed that I have a really good marriage. I have my mom to thank that for. She told me that she had prayed for it since I reached puberty.    

But whatever it is, bear this in mind: Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

I am sure you've heard of the latest  breaking news about Patricia Cruz Bautista and Comelec Commissioner Andy Bautista. I cannot imagine how the children---aged 8, 13, 14, and 16---must be feeling right now.

Actually, there are many couples out there whose marriage are going through a rough path. Their stories may not be as publicized but for it to be known even within the clan, which spills over to the baranggay, have the same effect on children.

I always feel for the children.

From the time they are aware of what's happening until their teen years, they often feel awkward and inadequate. That is why we as parents need to constantly assure them of their worth. If that is not supplied, the effect can be debilitating.

Whenever someone comes up to me and shares with me their marital woes, I would always get teary eyed when they talk about their children and how their children are coping.

They will be the most hurt, I tell you. The worst that can happen is that they will bring the hurt and the disappointment with them until they grow old. In fact, some say, if a person is hurt while they are young, they may never recover from it. Don't you know that most of them who fall into depression or have mental illnesses trace their deep hurt from their childhood? So, think of the lives you may ruin. Sad.

So, please let's spare our children from hurt, humiliation at all cost.


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I know this happens. I also know that most of us moms, we take it personally.

I often hear stories of teens start to answer in monosyllables (Thankfully, my teens vie for our attention and race against each other to tell us their stories, LOL). They lock themselves in their rooms. They are always with their gadgets. They spend most of their time with their friends. They answer back. And the list goes on...

Of course, we try our best to engage them. In fact, we should, just so we know that they are not into trouble or in trouble. But I always feel, we don't need to hover. I steer away from being a helicopter parent.

This article, No, Your Teen Doesn't Hate You. It's Just Summer, is very enlightening. Here are some of the points:

Teens need alone time. Every one does no matter at what age, don't you agree? At this age, they are trying to establish some independence but at the same time still managed by our rules. It can be confusing. Remember we were teens once. Healthy adolescents usually strengthen their ties to peers and adults outside the home as they loosen their ties to their parents. There are also moments that they seek out our presence and withdraw. Don't take it as rejection.

Complaining isn't unusual. Adults complain, and so do teens. There are moments that we don't feel good about things, but it doesn't mean we hate it or we are ungrateful. Turn a listening and understanding ear to their gripes and that will be a big help to their growth. To be empathetic at this time can go a long way.

Teens hear you, even when their eyes roll. This happens when you talk to them about crushes or when we raise touchy subjects. Welcome the grunts, hear them out, and when they raise sensitive subjects like sex or relationships, I asked their thoughts about it. For example, the first time they raised the topic of girlfriend-boyfriend, I asked them, "what does BF-GF mean?" They shared that it's having someone you like to be with all the time, talk to all the time, and you have this huge feeling of care. It's having a best friend but of the opposite sex. I actually liked their answer a lot! Ha ha! So, I give them assurance that there's nothing wrong to feel that way towards the other person. But respect toward the other should always be there. And respect means not doing something that will embarrass or shame the other person. I think they got it. I hope they did! Then, to lighten the mood, I added that the girl they're seeing should not be more "maldita" than me. Ha ha! That became our secret joke whenever they would tell us that they have a new girl crush.

Teenage quirks don't last. Decades ago, psychologist Anna Freud, said that an adult structure of personality takes a long time to emerge, and that a typical teenager does not cease to experiment and is in no hurry to close down on possibilities. I agree. We were teenagers once. We did change for the better, although we shouldn't discount the fact that the guidance of our parents, our teachers, and the presence of peers in our lives play an important role in who we are today.

For now, we guide, we chill and embrace the teenage years of our children.


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Jolly Heart Mate does just that. It partnered with The Philippine Heart Center (PHC), cardiac rehabilitation section, to celebrate the National Cardiac Rehabilitation week, June 19 – 27. The goal of the activity is to educate its patients and staff to take care of their hearts’ health and well-being. PHC is the pioneer in the field of Cardiac Rehabilitation in the country and it also champions the prevention of cardiac diseases and quick recovery of patients with heart diseases.

The week-long activity, in partnership with Jolly Heart Mate Canola Oil, included talks on lifestyle and healthy tips from various dietitians and nutritionists. Jolly Heart Mate resident chef DJ Santos from CCA-Manila also conducted a cooking demo to share recipes that are heart-friendly and healthy. Jolly Heart Mate Ambassador Chef Donita Rose made a surprise appearance and happily took selfies with the patients and doctors in the hospital. She also gave a talk emphasizing the value of giving attention to healthy eating.

“We must always be conscious that the ingredients we use should be good for the heart, like Jolly Heart Mate Canola Oil which contains the lowest amount of bad fats (saturated fats) but packs in the good kind like omega 3 and 6,” Chef Donita shared.

Jolly Heart Mate Canola Oil also offered free nutrition counselling and body mass index check during the celebration for PHC’s out patients.

“We are very honored to take part in this noble cause of the Philippine Heart Center, section of cardiac rehabilitation, in educating Filipinos on how to take care of their hearts. We believe that little lifestyle upgrades, like choosing healthy cooking ingredients, especially in their cooking oil, will make a big difference in improving one’s health,” concluded Fly Ace Corporation Group Category Manager for Oils Zen Prudentino.


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At the start of this year, I said to myself, I won't make any resolutions or any plans. Instead, I will make goals. I read somewhere that a goal is a dream with a  deadline.

Yes, I like the word deadline right there. I only hate the word when it's about work, LOL, but I can't possibly hate it when it comes to my life, right? But seriously, if I have a deadline, I accomplish things, and I know I can say the same for you, too.

I remember back in January, my goals were these.

• Decrease debt (all IOUs) which I incurred because of the sudden drop of my income when I took that leap of faith to leave the corporate world - but with much patience and self control, I am slowly paying off each one of them. Yey!  
• Increase income - think and do all the "raket" (get as many projects as I can do, including blogging), and yeah, I am doing just that. One project is underway, and which is a good way to get my consulting firm rolling. 
• Have the kids on dental braces - yes, this is ongoing
• Replace old appliances and furniture (as old as my elder son, so that's 17 years!) - by the grace of the Lord, yes, we were able to do it by midyear. Woot, woot! I still need to decide to get a new gas range or get those counter top stoves. I guess that will have to be a goal for next year. He he... 
• Replace old roofing of the house - yes, done, also!
• Improve interior design of the house such as repainting, lighting fixtures, and other necessary repairs - this we will do in the remaining half of the year
• Travel (local and foreign) - yes, for domestic, we traveled to Batangas, Dumaguete and Siquijor last summer and we are flying to Hong Kong. I am hoping to go on a JUST (Just Us, No Kids) or do an Eat, Pray, and Love thingy sometime October this year. OR attend alumni grand homecoming of my high school Alma Mater in December and spend Christmas in Davao with family.     
• Spread the value of saving for retirement, investments and kids' education - I cannot emphasize this enough to my friends that without our insurance and investment portfolios, we would not have sent our elder son to a big university for his senior high. I said this because in the last three years (tough years!), my own income dropped, and we had to rely mostly on my husband's income. 
• Be healthy - I need to lose weight, seriously! So I need a good, solid plan to achieve this. I need to be consistent, I need to persevere, I need to focus and be disciplined. I am nearing my golden era and I don't want to be old and ill. I have to start now, as in NOW! LOL 

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Yes, I say Dads are masterpieces created by God, and my father is one of them. To us he is a masterpiece because he has molded my brother and me with inspiring words, and not with the rod or restrictions.

I cannot remember a time when he clenched his fists and hit us, or extended his arms or legs to hurt us. I never even saw him violent and hit anything or throw something out of frustration, desperation, or anger.

He gets angry, of course! He raises his voice to make a point, sure! He would frown to show disagreement, yes.

But, he is always ready to listen and talk. Words, guiding and inspiring words---through talk or song---are his greatest legacy to Boy and me. In fact, one of our most fun bonding times is jamming, he plays the piano or guitar and we all sing along; or I play the piano or guitar, and they would all sing along. Up to this day, those words would echo at the perfect time when we need them.

Here are some of them:

1. Into your life, some rain must fall (thus, I am better able to cope with problems or difficulties).
2. Cuss words are unbecoming for a woman (this is why I don't swear at all. Or if I'm on the verge of spewing, I'd catch myself and remember his words).
3. Men are polygamous by nature (so, I don't look at men as perfect human beings).
4. The woman is the stronger force in the home (this has built my self esteem as a woman).
5. Make your home a refuge (true - the world outside can go chaotic, but I have always found comfort and peace in my home).
6. A man or woman who appreciates music is most likely a good person (so my best friend and I looked for this in our men, who are now our husbands).
7. Rules are not there to impose but to be lived (he doesn't impose rules, rather he lives them so that we will learn and follow).
8. Always follow your head and heart; not one or the other (in other words, always strike a balance - and I think I always do).
9. The way you live your single life should not be so different from the way you live your married life because conflict arises when you had to make a lot of adjustments (true - my husband and I maintain and nurture our individuality).
10. The secret of life is in the passage of time (yes, everything passes and you become a better person each time.).

Happy Father's Day, Hutsai!

We love you beyond words.


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I remember when my kids were still toddlers, one of the activities that was more challenging to do was getting them to brush their teeth. I really don't know why. But I think because it was the only activity that nobody else can do for them, but they themselves. LOL.

So, one of the ways to get them to brush their teeth was make it fun for them. And one of the pieces of advice that our pediatrician gave us then was to make it a family activity, like brush teeth together, and in front of the mirror.

Another way is to get kiddie toothbrushes with cool designs. Colgate has always had fun flavors and colors for their kiddie toothpaste.

Fast forward to today, Colgate continues to come up with cool designs for their toothbrushes and toothpaste. Their latest is Colgate's Minions toothbrush and Minions toothpaste.

   

Now, we have a little girl, Alya, at home and we are happy to get the Colgate Minions toothbrush and toothpaste.


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