#FF: Keep the Marriage

Let me do a Flashback Friday post. I posted this in my working mom blog seven years ago. It was our 10th year. I edited that part and made it into 17th year to make it more current. The italicized part was the original post.


Here goes...

I went to Thea’s shower party last night. It was probably the most wholesome showers I’d been to (and the first shower party where I was the oldest and the only one married) yet, the pure and innocent fun—and the shots of tequila and bailey’s—were still there.

It was refreshing! Besides, it’s always good to be surrounded by young, energetic people because they keep you young, too. =) Kudos to Candie and Ida for organizing the shower.
Between games, each of us were asked to go the “audio-video room” and record our message for the couple. I have a standard message for couples, actually, which are:

• Not focus too much on the wedding, but to look forward wholeheartedly to the marriage. Very basic but to me an important reminder that the wedding preps can go wrong for all I care, but the couple should be able to keep the marriage at all cost.
• To keep one’s individuality. Each should maintain some alone time, and pursue dreams other than those shared with your partner. One’s life and pursuit should not end just because you are married.
• This is not to say that you shouldn’t compromise, but as each one nurtures the love and respect for each other, one should not lose one’s self respect.

This time, however, I added new insight to my message, which is to this effect: “now that you have found your happy ending, it does not mean the end of romance, the end of passion. Rather, it is the beginning of a deeper romance and passion bound by true friendship, real commitment, and a giving, forgiving love.”

This year, I’ll be married for 17 years. Seventeen blessed years. I can’t say we are problem proof or temptation free, but it is definitely a marriage worth keeping.

I don’t think I’ll ever have this sense of ME and sense of US if I’m not with Wizheart. What I have with him is something I cannot find with somebody else. For who can talk about their work to their spouse at the end of the day? We are each other's consultant at work. I would even joke him, "Hey, I think I need to collect a consultant's fee already!" Or collaborate on something for things that are outside household chores? Or who can spend time with friends without worrying that the spouse would mind? The list can go on and on…

Wizheart and I share the basics, yet the essentials in a relationship: there is deep friendship, there is endless conversation, there is inspiring music, there is timeless literature, there is invigorating sports, there is real romance, there is deep passion, there is unconditional love.

All these and more make me keep my marriage.

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