Life is Funny... Most Times!

My uncle Jack, older brother of my father, passed on last week.

He was a bachelor, and had lived most of his life alone. He didn't want company and he didn't want someone living with him. He was happy that way. He is more sociable than my father but he preferred living alone. Talk of life's ironies!

We would visit him at most six times of the year, and when my father is here in Manila, he would spend time with him. He would also spend Christmas and birthdays with us.

We last visited him in early July, and already we saw signs of forgetfulness. That day, too, we were surprised that he asked my husband for money to buy his food. He never did that. In fact, when we would visit him, he would give the kids (only the kids always, lol) some cash right away. The husband did not only give him money that day but even went with him to buy food. It was lunch time so he bought food for dinner as well, and then we left him some money.

At the back of my head, I knew something was not right. We probed some more and asked him about his pension from GSIS, and if he was still getting it and how. He answered that he would go to the GSIS in Manila (mentioning the old address of GSIS) to claim it. Warning sign #1. But when we said that he should be getting it through the Landbank ATM, he instantly said, "Yes, that will do, too."

The husband and I exchanged looks. But when I called my father and they were talking on the phone, he sounded like his old self again--witty and sharp.

Before we left him that day, we told him that he could go to our house anytime. He could just take a cab and we would handle the fare. He then asked, when? "You want to go with us today?" I quickly asked. To which he said, "Ah wag muna ngayon (not now)." That is his standard answer.    

But I wish I insisted. I wish I dragged him to go with us. But then father would tell me later, no amount of convincing could force him to do something he wouldn't want to do. Even his own mother couldn't tell him to go home.

For when his memory started failing no one knew except him, and some select friends who checked on him.

When it happened that his neighbors found him half-conscious at the foot of the stairs, he was brought to the hospital. It took the neighbors three days later to reach me, as his only closest kin. That is because they had to revive his mobile phone before they could send messages to everyone in his phonebook. I happened to be in there, and the neighbor just sent a message to anyone, without them knowing I was his niece. When I called instead of replying with a text, Anthony knew I was a close kin, the niece who lived in Merville, and whom Uncle Jack kept mentioning to them.

In the past week that I attended to his cremation, his prayer vigil, thoughts of "I wished I went to the hospital sooner." "I wished I visited him more often." "I wished I insisted on having someone there to look after him." But all the what ifs and the I wish can do nothing now. I am sad more than I can be ever sad.

But why do I say life is funny... most times?

Because I learned a lot of ironic things from this experience.

• People who are not in your most inner circle of friends are the ones who called and messaged if they could extend some help, and how. One friend who never fails to greet me on special occasions every year--that's the only time we communicate--surprised me when she sent me cash. Another friend offered her services if I needed them. 
• There are people who jump at the situation and offer affront to help me sell or offer to buy my Uncle's house. Well, I can't blame them because the property is really a prime lot in Mandaluyong! And they remembered my Uncle saying, he was leaving the property with  me. So, now they're hounding me, lol.
• In the most difficult of times, you have to learn to rely on yourself. I am blessed, I have my husband with me. So that gives me extra two pair of sturdy and reliable hands. You cannot expect, nor oblige, other people to keep vigil, unless they really want to.  

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