How Did You Do It?

How did you raise your kids to be open and close to you even if you were a working mom? How did you do it?

I am often asked these questions.

I recall, even if my husband and I were working parents, we made it a point to spend quality time with the kids. Quality time - I know that is a standard answer.

Often we equate quality time with spending time with the kids, being with them. In truth, it requires more than just spending time with them. Because you can be with them, physically, but your mind and heart are in your work or business or somewhere else. Your mind is preoccupied. Our kids can feel that.

So, is spending time with them enough? I think an important ingredient to throw into the mix is attention.

When our kids were little and as they were growing up, we were really attentive. We focused our attention to them. I guess it helps that there was not much social media distraction then. Ha ha! Well, parents today must really put in extra effort to be attentive, too.

Since my husband and I were both working, we had to get nannies. But as soon as we got home from work, we would do substitution. He would work on their assignments with them (I review them during tests), play or jam with them. I would bathe them, put them to sleep and sleep with them. On weekends, we either watch sporting events, movies, go swimming or a road trip, or just stay home. On Sundays, we always hear mass. We always look forward to Sundays because after mass, we would dine out and go to Timezone. Our tambayan before was Timezone, Jollibee, and then Araneta Coliseum. On vacations, we travel together. Ha ha!   

We really made sure that when we were with them, we were with them physically and mentally--until today that they are already in their teens. My elder son is past teens actually. Yet, I am proud to say that they are as open and close to us as ever.  That is because we have formed a bond, and nurtured a relationship with them.

There's one good thing about this lockdown, too, we now eat together all our meals, and dining is really an excellent way to bond because while eating stories pour in.

I hope I am able to give a tip to my mommy friends who have been asking me this question.

Next question, please? 😃

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Ⓒ 20 April 2020

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