47 Lessons Till Midlife

I had a simple and quiet celebration when I turned 47 last October 3.


"Pray, Hope, and Don't Worry." Saint Padre Pio



So, it has been 47 years, and am nearing my golden era. It was one of a helluva 47 years! Let me write down the lessons I've learned, and I hope you'll pick up a thing or two, too.

1. A strong solid family support system is a reliable foundation in life. It cultivates high EQ. It builds confidence. It gives you a good sense of yourself.

2. It's easy to craft a story. But don't tell that story to a another storyteller because he is bound to know your twists and turns. Ha ha!

3. When you give something, let it go because that thing now belongs to the recipient and not to you. Learned that from my father.

4. Choose your battles. More importantly, know how to choose your battles. Learned this from my mother.

5. It doesn't pay to jump into the bandwagon. Be vigilant, be prudent.

6. Be the best of who you are or who you can be. Make your achievements as your metric.

7. Marry your best friend. Romance may fade, but true friendship endures.

8. Don't lose your individuality even if you're already married. My father said to me once, "I cannot see you not being you because you are under the control of your husband." I cannot tolerate that, too. Respect for each one is key to a fruitful and fulfilled marriage. I'm glad I listened to my father on this.

9. Take care of your true friends. They may be few, but they are all you need in this lifetime.

10. Ignorance does not excuse you from the law; nevertheless, ignorance is bliss.

11. Only believe stories straight from the horse's mouth. This is especially true in situations where people bring you versions of stories that you did not hear yourself. Remember the pass-the-message game?

12. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, do not keep a record of wrongs.

13. Do not break the trust... ever!

14. Health is wealth. As Steve Jobs said, "the most expensive bed is the sick bed."

15. Jealousy is a useless emotion. Everyone is blessed in his own way. As the song goes, "Persons are gifts of God to me, that come all wrapped so differently. Some so loosely, others so tightly. But wrappings are not the gift."

16. Love yourself first. Only you can make yourself happy.

17. When a relationship ends, don't look for closure. Closure is not always there. Move on and learn!

18. Establish a schedule. Develop a habit. It creates tradition.

19. Being on time is respect for other people's time.

20. Respect is earned.

21. Success is relative. You set your own metrics of success after all.

22. Don't claim success. Let others attribute it to you. In British idiom, "don't lift yourself by your own bootstraps."

23. From ashes to ashes.

24. Money can't buy class. Sad, but true!

25. Always choose life.

26. I read this somewhere, "Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks."

27. Time heals. Give time time.

28. Bro. Andrew Jacobsen once told us, "Don't hate your mother. You will become her one day." True!

29. Bro. Ed once showed us not to scold anyone in public.

30. Fill in only good things and values the tabula rasa of your child(ren). What happened to you in your early childhood (in the first 6 years, in fact), you won't ever outgrow or forget it.

31. Don't judge. Rather be more understanding. A person may be bitching because he may be going through a difficult time, or trying to make sense of his life. Or worse, he's unhappy.

32. Nobody dies of a broken heart.

33. Depression is a different animal altogether.

34. I've read this somewhere, too, "You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree."

35. From the Jaycees, I learned that "Service to humanity is the best work of life."

36. Let money work for you and not the other way around.

37. Open communication bridges understanding.

38. Have empathy.

39. Being generous is not the same as being thoughtful. Go figure!

40. It only takes one person to believe in you, and that will make the difference.

41. Sometimes you need to live in companionable silence.

42. Henry David Thoreau in his Walden says, "Simplify. Simplify."

43. Live below your means.

44. Gandhi says, "An honest 'no' is better than a dishonest 'yes.' As for me, I cannot say no. I'm still learning how.

45. Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you.

46. There is only one manual of life: the Bible.

47. God is my savior.


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