My children at 15 and and 17 years old with their dad.
Several Christmases ago, a very good friend gifted me with a book titled, The Teen Owner's Manual (Operating instructions, troubleshooting tips, and advice on adolescent maintenance). It sure sounds technical but when I flipped through the pages, I found out that this makes a lot of sense.
I'll be sharing with you here some interesting points from the book. Let me start with understanding what's motivating your teens. By doing so, you will better understand them. You will know when to interfere and when to leave them alone.
- To understand and become confident in that growing adolescent body. (Your kid will learn how to feed, operate, and maintain her new body.)
- To grow from concrete thinking to abstract, nuanced reasoning. (Finally, your teen can convincingly explain to you why he needs to take your car on a road trip with his buddies to hear their favorite band.)
- To separate from parents and try on new personas, yet be comforted by parents' unconditional love. (No matter how outrageous his rockstar-wannabe haircut is, he knows you're good for a hug.)
- To have control over choices and decisions (even when it makes Dad gnash his teeth to see his daughter date the homeroom lothario.)
- To "individuate" ---that is, establish autonomy and a distinctly separate personality and point of view from the parents' ---and to rely on an inner voice for guidance. (No one wants Mom showing at college to pick out major or friends.)
#GCQ54 #StayHomeAsMuchAsYouCan
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Ⓒ 24 July 2020
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