What It Means to Be Present

Us on May 9, 2021

Notifications buzz, thoughts race, plans pile up. Before we know it, we've gone through an entire day without really being there for any of it. We live in a world that constantly pulls our attention in a thousand directions. Being present has become both a lost art and a quiet revolution. 

To be present is to fully inhabit the moment you're in, not replaying what happened yesterday (and harping about it again and again... argh!), not rehearsing what might happen tomorrow. To be present is meeting life right where it's happening: now. 

Presence shows up in small ways:

- when you listen to someone without planning your response

- when you taste your food instead of scrolling while you eat

- when you walk outside and actually notice the way sunlight hits the leaves

- when you take a deep breath before reacting

It's these small moments that reconnect us with the texture of living.

Which brings me to what it means to be present for our children, or our family. It's actually ironic that we have all the ways to connect instantly these days, but many feel disconnected. 

I read from themompsychologist.com that a child is clingy because they're stressed out. Our toddler may need more reassurance from us. They may need more connection. Thus, to me, real, true, quality presence in the lives of our children is crucial. 

Being present as a parent doesn't mean we have to be serene all the time or turn every moment into a teaching opportunity. It's smaller and simpler than that. 

It's looking up from our phone and meeting our child's gaze when they tell us a story. 

It's laughing with them when things get silly, instead of rushing to calm the chaos.

It's letting dinner be a little late because a spontaneous game or hug felt more important.

Presence is found in the pauses. Those seconds when we let ourselves really be there. 

When we slow down enough to notice, we realize how quickly it all moves. The toys that used to clutter the living room disappeared one day. We don't keep toys from being played with. We let our kids play with all their toys. The toys may be broken while being played with, but it doesn't matter. What matters is the time they have played with the toys, and that's what they will remember. The bedtime stories turn into quick goodnights. The little hand that once gripped yours now waves from across the parking lot.  And in that realization comes something bittersweet. We can't freeze time, but we can be awake for it while it's happening. 

Our kids don't need perfect parents. They need connected ones. They need to feel that when we are with them, we're really with them, not just our bodies, but our attention, our curiosity, our hearts. 

Presence tells a child, "You matter. Right now matters."

And truthfully, it's not just for them. It's for us, too. Because when we learn to be present, we rediscover the wonder in the ordinary. We remember why we fell in love with life before it becomes so busy. 

Ⓒ 02 November 2025

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