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A couple of days ago, my elder son handed me a letter from school. The letter is an invitation to a parent-child recollection, titled, 'Enhancing Relationships (Heart-to-Heart Dialogue).'

Me: "Oh, heart to heart dialogue. But we always have heart to heart talks here!"
Gabo: "Yeah. Perhaps, we don't need to go?"

LOL

Kidding aside, I see the value of this retreat. I remember when I was in high school, we also had a similar activity. But ours was done differently. We, children, go on a overnight retreat. The highlight was for us to write a response to our parents' letter, which we would read at the end of the activity. The following day, our parents would meet us at the retreat venue, and we would "reunite." By then, there was a lot of crying, of asking and giving forgiveness, and most of all, lots of understanding and renewed love between parents and children.

It was during that activity also that I learned that no matter how close you are with your parents, and think that you have shared more than enough, and have earned your parents understanding, there are still a lot that's left hanging.

So, yeah, school activities like this is important.

I know there are many families that communication among members is zero. So, in a way, forced opportunities like this is a big help.

I cannot imagine not talking to my husband or to my kids. I am happy that in my family, conversation is a natural thing. Each of the boys would compete sharing their days with us. Several times, I have to referee between them. Even the husband would compete for my attention, too. LOL...

How I encourage conversation in the family

We love sharing the day's events with each other. I think the openness was nurtured because at the end of each day, I always ask them, "How was school? How was your day?" When they answer, "Fine!" I'd go, "How fine is fine?" Or "What  made you say, "It's fine?" Or "What made you say that?" So, they are forced to speak up more.

When they ask me the same question, I make it a point to elaborate, so that they would have an idea how to share their day with me.

In other words, make a conscious effort to talk to your children. I know for most teenagers, you will only hear monosyllables like, "Ok." "Yes." "No." etc, If you feel that they don't feel like talking about themselves or their day with you, then talk about yourself or about you day with them. What's important is that you have given them the opportunity to talk. You'll be surprised that when you start talking about your day, they would talk back, make comments, and find themselves sharing about their day, too.

It's a trick that has worked for me. It might work with you, too.

It's good actually to strike regular conversations with your children and husband or wife because often you can make decisions as a family. And we've decided on quite a number of things together actually.

So, going back to that school invitation. Are we going? Yes, we are! And I'm excited to know more about my child and about where our current relationship stands.

Will keep you posted! ;)


Posted by Meikah Ybañez-Delid
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