Things aren't always what they seem.

My friend and I were Viber calling yesterday, and we talked about how families seem to be okay in public but in truth they are not.

No marriage is perfect, of course. Living with another person from another background and maybe status in life is not easy. Staying married can be both challenging and exhilarating. As for me, I am blessed that I have a really good marriage. I have my mom to thank that for. She told me that she had prayed for it since I reached puberty.    

But whatever it is, bear this in mind: Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

I am sure you've heard of the latest  breaking news about Patricia Cruz Bautista and Comelec Commissioner Andy Bautista. I cannot imagine how the children---aged 8, 13, 14, and 16---must be feeling right now.

Actually, there are many couples out there whose marriage are going through a rough path. Their stories may not be as publicized but for it to be known even within the clan, which spills over to the baranggay, have the same effect on children.

I always feel for the children.

From the time they are aware of what's happening until their teen years, they often feel awkward and inadequate. That is why we as parents need to constantly assure them of their worth. If that is not supplied, the effect can be debilitating.

Whenever someone comes up to me and shares with me their marital woes, I would always get teary eyed when they talk about their children and how their children are coping.

They will be the most hurt, I tell you. The worst that can happen is that they will bring the hurt and the disappointment with them until they grow old. In fact, some say, if a person is hurt while they are young, they may never recover from it. Don't you know that most of them who fall into depression or have mental illnesses trace their deep hurt from their childhood? So, think of the lives you may ruin. Sad.

So, please let's spare our children from hurt, humiliation at all cost.


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When the gremlins told us that they were joining the school's Outreach Program to Romblon, I hesitated for a bit. I had to ask them several times, especially Rago, the younger one, "Are you sure? You're going to take a boat and cross the sea from Batangas to Romblon. The boat ride will take you 4 to 5 hours. Are you sure?" And their father asked, "Is that your final anwer?"

Both chorused, "Yes!"

Fine! I have to remind myself, they are no longer kids. They are teenagers! They can start to be responsible. And they are now starting to venture out on their own.

In retrospect, they are braver than me. Ha ha... I was Gabo's age when I left home in Iligan to go to University here in Manila. I still remember that as my father and I traveled farther away from Iligan and nearer to Cagayan de Oro where the airport is, I felt lonelier and lonelier.

Well, I don't really have problems with my kids going on a field trip or an outreach, especially of this kind. This is where they will learn more about life, go beyond their comfort zone, get to know other people of different backgrounds, and most importantly, they will learn about volunteerism and advocacy. It is through volunteerism and advocacy that they develop concern, care for people, and passion for a cause. For me, if you have passion, you will pursue the meaning of your life.

My worry mostly lies in the fact that they would take the boat to Romblon. That means crossing the ocean. What if in the middle of it, they would suddenly feel scared, panicked and ill? Extreme fear can lead to trauma, you  know, and I don't want that to my children.

What can a mother do, but to pray that they will have a good journey.

Judging from their text messages, I know they are having a good time. They talked about having fun swimming in the sea, about Rago not getting a good sleep, eating only vegetables and fish (na di boneless, according to Rago - ha ha!), throwing a party for Sr. Divine because it is her feast day...

I am sure more stories will be shared when they come home tomorrow night. Each of them will race against each other to tell us his own version of stories. They are like that. When you ask them, "Oh how was your day in school?" They would blurt out a thousand-and-one stories that happened in school at the same time! Ha ha!

When the kids cross the ocean by themselves, they learn to know more about themselves, the parents learn to let go and trust the Lord more, and definitely, new memories are made.  


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