How did you raise your kids to be open and close to you even if you were a working mom? How did you do it?

I am often asked these questions.

I recall, even if my husband and I were working parents, we made it a point to spend quality time with the kids. Quality time - I know that is a standard answer.

Often we equate quality time with spending time with the kids, being with them. In truth, it requires more than just spending time with them. Because you can be with them, physically, but your mind and heart are in your work or business or somewhere else. Your mind is preoccupied. Our kids can feel that.

So, is spending time with them enough? I think an important ingredient to throw into the mix is attention.

When our kids were little and as they were growing up, we were really attentive. We focused our attention to them. I guess it helps that there was not much social media distraction then. Ha ha! Well, parents today must really put in extra effort to be attentive, too.

Since my husband and I were both working, we had to get nannies. But as soon as we got home from work, we would do substitution. He would work on their assignments with them (I review them during tests), play or jam with them. I would bathe them, put them to sleep and sleep with them. On weekends, we either watch sporting events, movies, go swimming or a road trip, or just stay home. On Sundays, we always hear mass. We always look forward to Sundays because after mass, we would dine out and go to Timezone. Our tambayan before was Timezone, Jollibee, and then Araneta Coliseum. On vacations, we travel together. Ha ha!   

We really made sure that when we were with them, we were with them physically and mentally--until today that they are already in their teens. My elder son is past teens actually. Yet, I am proud to say that they are as open and close to us as ever.  That is because we have formed a bond, and nurtured a relationship with them.

There's one good thing about this lockdown, too, we now eat together all our meals, and dining is really an excellent way to bond because while eating stories pour in.

I hope I am able to give a tip to my mommy friends who have been asking me this question.

Next question, please? 😃

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Ⓒ 20 April 2020

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I went to visit a pregnant friend last week, and was surprised to see her sluggish and already sore when she was only five months along the way!

She herself was concerned because she didn't want to go super huge and then have complications during delivery day. This prompted her to ask for some advice and I recalled what I did during my pregnancy.

I know every pregnancy is different, but still I came up with these nine tips:

1. Have a good mindset. For me, it starts with this. You have to accept that as you are carrying another life in your tummy, there will be changes in your body as well. And these changes will affect how you feel about yourself and about circumstances. These changes in your body however are necessary for fetal development and will prepare your body for labor.


2. Welcome nausea. Don't fight it. If I had to blow, I'd do it. In my first pregnancy, I had morning sickness. In my second one, I had evening sickness. But they were not really debilitating. To combat nausea, I would eat sour green mangoes or bland crackers such as Skyflakes. I didn't take medicines in the like of  Zofran because I read that taking those medicines will increase the risk for birth defects such as cleft palate and heart defects.

3. Give in to your craving. During my first trimester, I didn't feel like eating much, and yet I know this is the time that my child is also developing, so I had to force myself to eat. What I did was give in to my craving for food.

4. But don't binge and give the excuse that you're eating for two. This is such an easy excuse but don't fall for it. You still have to watch your weight because you don't want to have an overweight fetus as well. It might complicate your pregnancy.

5. Keep yourself cool all the time. Because of increased hormonal level and metabolic rate, pregnant women will experience "hot flashes." Find a cool spot in your house. I didn't use electric fan or stay a lot of hours in an air-conditioned room because my mom said it would give me gas. This could be a local / cultural belief. But true enough, I didn't have any tummy aches then.

6. Do some breathing exercises. At some point in my pregnancy, I felt out of breath. I found out that respiratory rate rises to compensate for increased maternal oxygen consumption. This is needed for demands of the uterus, the placenta, and the fetus. So, what I did was do some breathing exercises in the mid morning and another one in the mid evening. It quite helped!

7. Avoid sodas, coffee, tea, salt, junk food. I was a very diligent pregnant woman. For the whole 9 months, I really didn't have any of those. That is because I wanted to be healthy. And I wanted to have a healthy baby, too.

 8. Avoid sleeping too much, especially in the afternoon. This is one of the reasons, you will get bloated and get sore feet. So, what I did, I would listen to music, read a book, watch TV, anything just to keep me awake!

9. Move for good health and well-being. There are exercises even for pregnant women. For this, you have to consult your OB-GYNE. I did walking especially in my last trimester because I wanted to have a natural childbirth. It turned out that I still underwent CS because of the results of my pelvimetry test. It looked into the diameters of the osseous birth canal and compared it with that of the infant's head to determine whether the pelvis is of sufficient diameter to allow a normal vaginal delivery. I appreciated that test because I didn't have to go through labor and only to find out that I would need an emergency CS. But even with this or without this test results, I would still highly recommend doing some exercises.

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