I Don't Recognize Myself, Anymore

These photos are taken during this quarantine season, and who is she? LOL

Not to brag, but I think I've never looked this good, ever!  My skin is nice (thanks to Celavive!), I am healthy, and stress free. 

Praise God!

That is the change I see in myself physically. But mentally and emotionally, I also feel a big difference. 

I was not a patient person. I used to be just chill, minding my own business. I would avoid any situation that was difficult. I would always take the easy route. When I knew, what I was going to do would be challenging or the road ahead would be difficult, I wouldn't dare go there.

I guess because growing up, my parents have always paved the easier route for me and my brother.

For example, I took the college entrance exam in UST and qualified for B.S. in Nursing. I was accompanied by my father then, and we were about to go to the interview for admission when he said, "let's go to UP Diliman campus first and check it out." On our way, there he told me that something my uncle, his older brother, said that struck him. My uncle asked him, "you think, Inday can make it to nursing? She can't even wash the dishes?" Because of that comment, we decided to go for UP Diliman. LOL

Another example. I spent 1 year in law school. I really had a hard time memorizing all those law and provisions verbatim. I could explain them well, but I couldn't cite them word for word. So every exam that we would have, my scores would be four or five points away from being perfect. And I could not forget my lawyer-professor telling me and even the whole class that I would have gotten a perfect score in the test if only I could cite the law verbatim. I did paraphrase the law well, he would say. Ha ha! Because of that difficulty, I didn't pursue my law studies. 

When I got married, my mother or both of my parents would really stay with us and run the household while my husband and I were busy working. So, I din't have to worry about my kids being left by the nannies because my mother was always there. Also, our first set of nannies were handpicked by my mother. 

There have been many instances. All points to me choosing the more convenient path.

But now, I have transformed! 

I am more patient, I am more forgiving of errors, and I am more vocal about my thoughts, and I am now learning how to say something repeatedly, and share my thoughts longer even if I am just repeating myself. And what's funnier is that I can now tolerate hearing ideas being said over and over again. One-word-is-enough-for-a-wise-man no longer applies in my new world. 

This new world, it is totally new, absolutely different, but I love being here. 

I like the new me, because by going out of my comfort zone, I get to know about the real me, and what is my purpose in life. It is not simply to exist, but to live.   

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Ⓒ 25 June 2020

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