Is there Such a Thing as Scared of Success?

Would you believe that's what holds me back? 

I know it sounds counterintuitive. Why would anyone be afraid of the very thing they are working so hard to achieve? Yet, for me, the idea of success triggers anxiety, self-sabotage, and even paralysis.

But I was never like this. In my younger years, I was always competitive, wanting to be first, to be praised, to be in the limelight. Is this what you call old age? LOL.

Or maybe because success now in this stage of my life means being in the limelight, to be invited to speak, to be emulated, to be praised. I no longer want that. 

I want to be in the background, silently making an impact. Another irony. I guess I am redefining success on my own terms. Success doesn't have to be overwhelming. My version of success now is quieter, more intentional, more values-driven--inspiring people through relationships that I've built with them.

I guess I don't have to be fearless to succeed. I just have to be willing to keep going, even when my own light makes me blink. 

Photo by Mathurin NAPOLY / matnapo on Unsplash

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